F.A.Q.
That means, “Frequently Asked Questions,” btw
Sometimes I see that and think, …What’s faqua?
1. How much do you cost?
Depends on the need.
If you’ve been thinking about a (re)brand, but need someone to shove you off the diving board, so you take strategic action, THEN, I recommend Plan-My-Brand, an investment cost of $975.00
If you still struggle to answer the question, “What do you do?,” and desperately need to grasp what your existing brand even is so you’re confident in it, THEN, I’d recommend Explain-My-Brand, an 8-week intensive that ranges from $3,500 - $5,000 depending on contract and payment plan.
If your old brand has taken you as far as it can, and you need a whole new website and a whole new vibe to your brand, voice, messaging, positioning, etc., to reach new goals and opportunities, THEN, I’d recommend Build-My-Brand, an investment cost ranging from $12,000 - $17,500, depending on contract and payment plan.
Word to the wise, for those that just “need a bump,” I also offer a consulting hour called Bump-My-Brand valued at $475.00 that’s FREE to IlLemonati subscribers who qualify. Go sign up if you aren’t a member.
2. Who do you work with?
WHO they are as founders: They’re “Customer Intimate Entrepreneurs,” - consultants, coaches, academic-turned-entrepreneur types, interior designers, financial advisers, etc. These are business founders who are, in many ways, their product, their process is their invention, and they work intimately with other people.
Their main problems:
They aren’t known the way they need to be known by enough people to reach their monetary/business/career goals.
They don’t stand out because they’ve yet to distinguish themselves in their very crowded industries.
Their offer is unclear either because it’s esoteric and hard-to-explain and/or they lack clarity around what problems they solve.
Their message/perspective/story is missing or unformed, so they struggle to hold their expertise in their field.
They’ve built businesses models and offers that don’t scale, so they always work in their business, not on it. Within that self-defeating process, they don’t make the time to properly grow their identity, influence, and reach.
WHO they are as people: Creative people with a sense of humor and the balls, ego, gumption, and intelligence to invest in their businesses. They don’t half-ass their professional image, they aim to show up powerfully. They have solutions to real problems, and care about their impact and the results they get for clients. They’re THINKY people with strong opinions and stories to share. “Authenticity” isn’t just a value, it’s an invaluable quality they wield for attracting and keeping clients. Because they aren’t intellectually wimpy, they don’t use AI to shape their ideas; they’re trusting (or want to be more trusting) of their human voice and smart mind. They want full ownership of their brand messaging, voice, positioning, point-of-view, story, and offers. They value and grasp that strengthening their commercial writing skills makes them stronger at thinking, content, and sales.
3. Do you still have a done-for-you writing service?
I accept a few select clients a year for full rebrands only starting at $25k
4. Do you work with clients outside the US?
Yes, mainly the UK, EU, Australia, and NZ.
5. So what type of programs or services DO you offer?
My main programs are high-touch, salon-style writing & brand-construction programs where clients do the writing. We gather in small, intimate numbers (and sometimes 1:1, depending on the program) to think, strategize, create, experiment, workshop, and build, focusing on the linguistic assets necessary for any serious brand - i.e., Founder story, Positioning narratives, Company bios, Messaging, Offers, Taglines, etc. to be used EVERYWHERE from Websites to Sales Decks to One-Pagers to IP Products, etc.
6. In a nutshell, what’s the difference between your 3 programs?
Time, access to me, and end results.
Plan-My-Brand, the main purpose is to complete a brand vision and then to design a plan for achieving it on your own. Clients get two 1:1 sessions with me. We do not build any customer-facing assets, we build behind-the-scene assets that jumpstart the brand journey, so it moves in the right direction from the beginning, and money isn’t spent on the wrong things.
Explain-My-Brand, the purpose is to finally answer the question, “What do you do?” And to create a Brand Foundation, that’s currently missing, so we clear your brand fog and confusion. It’s an 8 week, fast-paced incubator done in groups or 1:1. Students develop a writing habit and complete an EMB Workbook to use for website and content development. I do no writing in this program.
Build-My-Brand is a year-long membership to the Switchblade Lemonade brand salon, the purpose being to build your brand (durp). Members develop their commercial writing skills and construct their own assets following a tailored-to-them strategy. BMB is a unique mix of group and 1:1 work, a year to work on the business, not just in it. I do no solo writing in this program, but co-author/co-create with members, getting my hands dirty in their copy when necessary.
7. What’s your process?
All programs are driven by the types of questions we’re never asked (or never ask ourselves). I don’t subscribe to any particular framework that creates cookie-cutter results, but I do develop frameworks and exercises for my clients to use. I lead, teach, coach, facilitate, and critique in a very Literary-workshop, “round-table,” open-discussion way that focuses first on what the writing and voice IS doing well, and provide feedback and instruction on what would amplify its effectiveness.
Because my clients must sell themselves along with their services, we focus on their offer plus HOW their mind works, what personality they wield, what innate sensibilities they naturally possess, and position them as benefits.
I emphasize the need for BEAUTY, a major standard at Switchblade Lemonade. In our context, “beauty” doesn’t mean grandiloquent or flowery language, it means - What’s the best, most cinematic, most hilarious, most profound, most true, most unexpected way we could talk about our subject. This is how you express personhood and lived experience, and it’s how you connect emotionally with other human beings before they contract with you.
8. I have a corporate background and work with corporate clients - is Switchblade Lemonade a good fit for me?
Yes - but only IF, you would like to sound less corporate. MOST people feel their corporateness doesn’t do them justice or paint an accurate picture of who they are. And keeping a “corporate” voice and style doesn’t set you apart from other corporate-sounding competitors. So the question is - How do we preserve your professionalism, status, expertise, identity while also cracking out of that rigid, corporate shell to produce something sticky and unforgettable? This is a worthy challenge, and it absolutely can be done!
9. How do I make my brand sound less vanilla/boring/generic but also sound like a mature, knowledgeable, adult?
Kind of a tightrope walk, isn’t it? But you don’t have to choose between vanilla vs. cringy, or formal vs. unprofessional, or a level-headed grownup brand vs. a pithy immature one.
People are very complex and multi-dimensional, and my work captures dimensions exceptionally well. You can be extremely professional AND have a witty, dark-humor AND be optimistic AND be deeply profound AND be a cut-throat strategist and and and…
So the quick answer to this deep question is: Decide what you really want your people to know about you, your company, and your work. Then speak to your client about that.
10. What if you don’t have experience with my industry?
Then you’ll benefit from that. If my brain was soaked in your business vernacular, we’d be in an echo-chamber asking the wrong questions.
11. What if I have different services to offer different types of clients, can you help me then?
If you’re an executive coach who also owns an ice cream parlor, I would say you have two different business brands, and I’ll help you with the former. If you’re, for example, a coach who works with employed and self-employed people, we’d identify the breakdowns and characteristics that unite them all and then speak to them individually within the different services.
You’d benefit from Explain-My-Brand or Build-My-Brand depending on your budget and commitment levels.
12. My clients adore me - so why are my prospects so not interested?
LIKELY because you withhold the goods, depriving people who don’t know you of an experience of you. If you aren’t demonstrating what you do, how you address their problem, how well you understand their problem, how your mind works, what’s great about having you in the room, what results you get, what you assert to be true, why you think the way you do, what you value, how you work and so on and so forth, there’s little there to have an opinion about.
Your clients adore you because they’ve experienced what you can do, and you can’t argue with experience. But you can argue with what you haven’t experienced. If the above information is missing, a client’s mind will fill the gaps in a nano-second, and make the assumption that they don’t need you.
13. Can I pay you to “tweak” my website?
No.
14. Can I pay you to edit my AI draft?
I’d rather be defenestrated through a glass door.
15. Are websites still important?
Where does your brand live without a website, in a desk drawer? There’s a type of unimaginative founder who thinks their LinkedIn profile is their brand, but those poor lost souls have no mothership. They’ve relinquished control of the look, feel, and presentation of their ideas, offers, and identity to a platform managed by dorks who “optimize the algorithm” every time there’s a full moon as part of their quest to further enshittify everything, so don’t let those people confuse you.
Also, if you want AI to recommend you, it better be able to find you.
16. Does a brand really matter?
Brands really matter to those of us who:
Aren’t born with a silver spoon up our butt or haven’t landed a sugar momma/daddy to take care of our needs and whims.
Lack the personality to “sell ice to an eskimo,” and need assets to do some of the selling for us.
Don’t sell handmade purses sewn from sewage rat hides or have some other completely unique, never-before-heard-of thing.
Want to bring our attitude, quality of thought, and experience to the conversation.
Need to be known outside of our existing network.
Are building businesses, careers, and financial security with the work we do outside the norms of standard employment.
17. Do you do storytelling?
Does a bear shit in the woods? Go watch the video on my homepage. Read my About. Read my testimonials, I’ve gone VIRAL with my storytelling.
18. How do I get in touch with you?
Through the contact page, Goose! Just answer a few easy questions and then pick a time when you WILL NOT BE DRIVING to take a call. (Can you believe I have to say this out loud?) If you’re messaging me to collaborate or confess your undying love, you can email me at caroline@switchbladelemonade.com